Everything happens for a reason
by icedbubbles
Summary: Everything happens for a reason, or does it? What do Sara and Catherine think? Will the events of Dead Doll make them realise their feelings for each other and act upon them? C/S femslash.
1. Chapter 1

Hey, I'm useless, I know I'm just trying to get into my other story 'The start of something new', but I'm a bit blocked at how to write what I want with it, and the idea for this just popped into my head at work today.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Everything happens for a reason.- **after the events of Living Doll/ Dead Doll, certain things happen/ have happened, what do they mean for Catherine and Sara, and where will it lead them?

This is obviously C/S, so if you don't like, last chance to turn back

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**Chapter 1**

They say everything happens for a reason.

And now I think I kind of understand why they say that. I mean take me for example... 2 months ago I was nearly killed- kidnapped, put under a car and left to die by a lunatic named Natalie. I escaped the car and then nearly died from the heat and dehydration from the desert. So, why would this happen to me?

This is my thought...

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I had been with Grissom, my partner, for almost two years, had a 'crush' on him for years before that. I thought that I was happy with him. When we finally got together I thought that the piece of me that was missing would finally be filled. I would be whole. I mean I left San Francisco for Vegas all because the guy called me and asked me to, I just upped and left.

Would I do that for somebody I didn't love? Or want to love? I didn't think so. And so I came to Vegas, and every so often Grissom would show me a piece of what life with him could be like. He then turned me down after I asked him out, but every so often I got this glimpse of the feelings he must have had for me.

Anyway, eventually we got together. I finally had somebody that liked me for me, didn't care that I was a super-geek, and laughed at my humour. I liked him, I always had done. We got on so well, I knew him, he knew me, the perfect life?

Which brings me to my point. Everything happens for a reason.

Whilst I was stuck under that car, fighting for my life to get out, walking across that desert, there was only one person who entered my mind. There was only one person who I was thinking about. I needed to get out, just so that I could see them again. Somebody beautiful, strong, independent, funny and amazing. And that person wasn't Gil Grissom.

I eventually passed out from exhaustion, and was found by my colleagues Nick Stokes and Sofia Curtis. I will be forever grateful for them spotting me. I don't actually think I've properly thanked them yet, but I will.

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I woke up after being inserted with drips and god knows what else in the air ambulance. I woke up to Grissom, and something felt wrong. I smiled slightly, as much as my injuries would let me, and he held my hand. I was grateful to be alive, to be there, to be safe, but I felt somewhat disappointed that it was Grissom in that copter with me. I'm strange I know, who wouldn't want their boyfriend with them in a moment like that?

So, I sat in my hospital bed two weeks later, confused as hell. I mean, I was happy before this 'accident' happened, for once, I was happy with my life, I loved Grissom. And now it just all feels wrong.

All because of the person I kept thinking about whilst I was trapped under that car.

I'm putting on a happy face, but I just don't feel happy at all. Its been two weeks since my accident, I have flowers, cards and teddy bears from all of the guys, Warrick, Nick, Greg, Brass, Sofia and of course, Grissom. But there is one of my colleagues who I haven't seen, hasn't been in to see if I'm okay, hasn't sent me a get well soon card. This one person happens to be the one person whom I cannot stop thinking about, it's pretty sad really, I am in a relationship, I was perfectly happy, and now I can't stop thinking about a woman who doesn't even care about me enough to stop by and see how I'm doing, I mean I nearly died.

The guys give me a quick kiss and leave, they all have work and visiting hours are over anyway. Grissom smiles at me, and says: "I love you Sara, I'm so glad you're okay, you have all of these people who care deeply for you, you're going to be fine."

All I can do is smile and nod, I can't say it back to him, I can't tell him I love him anymore. As he leaves I sit in my bed and cry myself to sleep.

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**Please review, I love reviews.**

Next chapter will be up soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**disclaimer: I don't own anything. I'm a poor student.**

Here's chapter 2 then:

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**Chapter 2:**

_Catherine's POV_

They say everything happens for a reason. I don't agree at all. Maybe it's just because everything that happens to me sucks. Take today for example, I'm late to work again, Lindsey has the flu and my mother is being a pain in the backside.

I pull into the car park and run into the building, cursing at the fact that I didn't seem to notice how cold it is and I'm in nothing more than a t-shirt, it shows that my head isn't all there at the moment.

I see Warrick and Nick as I'm dashing through the corridors and call to them to wait up.

"Hey guys."

Warrick smiles and asks how I am, Nick doesn't look too happy and just says emotionless:

"Catherine."

Something's up with him, I hope to God that Sara is okay. I can't bring myself to go and talk to her. I'm such an idiot I know. But when she was missing Gil told us all about their relationship, and I felt my heart break into a thousand pieces.

Melodramatic I know, but that's how it felt. I've always had a secret 'crush' on her, and although I knew she always had a crush on Gil, I never thought something would happen between them, and now I'm just heartbroken.

When she was found alive, I wanted to be the one to be in the helicopter with her, whispering sweet nothings into her ear, telling her she was going to be ok. But it wasn't me she wanted, it was him. I've been to the hospital when no-one was there, and just watched her, I've been asking the guys if she's okay, but I had to see for myself. So I've been and watched her, but I can't let them know that, they'll think I'm crazy for not going in and speaking with her.

"You okay Nick? You seem a bit erm down I guess..." I ask him, bringing myself back to the moment. The reply I got wasn't what I was expecting.

"Yeh , Catherine I'm absolutely fantastic, never been better. Unless you were unaware, one of our colleagues, one of our supposed best friends nearly got killed the other week, she's recovering in hospital, putting on a brave face, and you, you don't even care. You haven't even been to see her Catherine! I mean I knew you could be a bitch, and I know you and Sara aren't the best friends in the world, but you haven't even taken her a card Catherine, are you totally cold hearted?!"

That hurt, it really did. He thinks I'm a cold-hearted bitch who doesn't give a damn about Sara. I can't cope with this. I just turn around and run back outside.

Warrick finds me five minutes later sat on the curb shaking uncontrollably, whether from the tears or the cold I'm not sure, but it can't look good.

"Cath, it's ok, he didn't mean it. He's just worried about Sara, she just seems, I don't know, a bit unhappy, like she's hiding something, he's just worried about her that's all, he didn't mean to take it out on you."

Warrick, ever trying to make me feel better. It doesn't work though, I feel awful.

"Does she think I don't care 'Rick? Because I do, I really do!" I burst into another round of tears, and Warrick pulls me to him trying to comfort me.

"Hey Cath, look, it's ok, shhh." That really doesn't help me. Sara thinks I don't care about her.

"'Rick its just, I just can't, I, I, I don't know what to say. I care about her, I really do, and for her to think that I don't, it hurts."

He looks up at me, and his eyes soften more, as he says: "Cath, I get it, I understand, I saw it in your eyes."

OK, I"m confused now.

"When Grissom told us about them, I saw it in your eyes, and I know its not him you want, I get it Cath, the way you look at her sometimes, its just all fitting together now."

I'm totally shocked that Warrick knows, but I'm to upset to care at this point.

"What do I do 'Rick? It hurts so much, I don't think I can see her. I went to the hospital, but I couldn't go in. She must think I hate her. She'll think about our arguments, and the fact I'm not there, and put 2 and 2 together and get 5."

I cry again, I don't think I've cried this much for a long time, but the tears are flowing.

Maybe I should just push aside my broken heart and the fact that the woman who I am secretly in love with will never feel the same, and go and see her, I mean she thinks I hate her.

My mind is made up, I'll go tomorrow before work, after the guys have left and I'll go and talk to her. I doubt she'll want to see me now though, I mean it looks like I've just not bothered for the past two weeks.

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Ok, so that's chapter two.

**please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews :)

Disclaimer remains the same, I don't own anything or anyone...

I know I suck for not updating sooner, and this chapter, like me, sucks... But I had to submit it before I decided to delete it like I did with the previous 7 attempts (no joke). So don't expect too much from this chapter ;) but i hope to be updating soon.

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Chapter 3:

Sara's POV

I hate hospitals, I always have. Ever since I was a child and visited the places every month with another broken bone I've disliked them. They smell awful, the food is awful, everything about them is awful. And I'm just so unbelievably bored.

I let my mind wander to my 'situation'.

Problem 1: Grissom.

He's the guy I always thought I wanted. Now I have him, and I realise he isn't what I wanted at all. I love him, but I'm not in love with him. I suck. I truly suck. When I get out of here, I'm going to have to end it. I know it'll break his heart, and work will be awkward, but I can't live a lie. Not with him. I couldn't do it to him, I respect him too much for that. And I guess if this whole ordeal has taught me anything, it's to live life as if every day is your last, or at least understand that every day could be your last. That's why I need to finish with him, I need to be happy, to have a chance at real love one day. Which brings me on to my second problem.

Catherine.

She still hasn't been to see me, which hurts, but I know if she did, I'd still be so happy to see her. She must hate me, if she's not even bothered to visit me after I nearly died. But since the last time I saw her, things have changed slightly, I mean she was the one who saved my life. I'd have given up were it not for knowing I could have the chance to see her again. So, even if she does hate me, I'm going to prove her wrong, I'm a good friend to have, a good person. Hell, I'd be a good lover, but I don't think she'd like that.

My life sucks. Sure it's better now than it was under the car, but still, it sucks. Why do I have to realise I'm falling for Catherine now, after I finally got Grissom. Why not before? Better idea, why not never?! She's so unobtainable it's stupid. She's beautiful, intelligent, and totally straight. Did I mention I suck?!

I really need to get out of this hospital. I hope that they'll release me soon…

On second thoughts, I'm not sure if I'd rather stay here than go back to Grissom's and pretend everything is hunky-dory, I actually think I'd squirm if he tried to touch me. I feel sick just thinking about it.

I sigh as I realise that thinking about it actually isn't helping me.

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Catherine's POV.

I've just arrived at the hospital, I said I'd come and visit her today, so here I am.

The problem is, my legs don't seem to want to walk any further. My hands don't want to knock on her door.

I stand outside for about ten minutes, contemplating what to say to her. I can't just go in and say 'Hey Sara, how ya doin? Sorry I haven't been to see you, more important things to be doing…' Yeh right… More like I'm too scared because of how I feel, and how jealousy burns through me when I think that he has you, he can touch you, make love to you. He's supposed to be my best friend; but I swear I could kill him right now…

Why did I have to fall for her now? Why not before? When she wasn't with him. Or even better, why not never?! I suppose, if she'd never been taken by the minature killer, I suppose these deep feelings I have for her may never have come to the forefront, and I'd be even more confused about my jealousy. If I could turn back time, I'd have started out being friends with her, not arguing and countering everything she does. I bet she thinks I hate her. And to top it off, I haven't even been to see her yet. I am such an idiot.

Just as I'm starting to beat myself up even more, I hear a huge sigh come from Sara's room, so I decide to take the plunge, and face her…

Dear Lord help me now, I don't know what to say, I hope she doesn't hate me….

I knock, open the door, take a deep breath and smile:

"Hey Sara."

**Please review guys, it motivates me to write more :) Thank you.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews guys. :) **I'm sorry that I suck for not updating sooner, I know I'm useless. I've had exams, and been away. But I'm back now :)

So here's a new chapter, let me know if it's any good. :)

Disclaimer: I still own nothing or nobody connected to CSI.

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****Chapter 4:**

Catherines POV:

I can feel the pounding of my heart in my chest as I walk further into her room. I guess that was the hardest part, actually making it through the door. I don't think I've ever felt so nervous. I won't be surprised if she shouts abuse at me and tells me to turn my ass around and get out, seeing as for the past two weeks all I've done is stay away.

I realise I'm standing half into the room, but nowhere near the bed and the seats. I also realise that she hasn't yet responded to my greeting. I'm not surprised though, I wouldn't be too pleased with me either.

The pounding in my heart intensifies as I cross the rest of the room and take a seat next to her bed. I don't know what to say to her, everything sort of seems pointless, or fake after the 2 weeks I've not been to see her.

After a couple of minutes I actually don't think that I can bare the silence anymore. I take a deep breath, and decide I need to apologize to her. I just don't know how.

"Sara." I say, it was supposed to come out confident, but it came out as nothing more than a whisper. She slowly turns her head towards me, with a single tear rolling down her cut and bruised face.

I gasp as for the first time I appear to notice her injuries, but I can't seem to stop myself from reaching over and wiping the solitary tear away. Before I could comprehend what I've done, she looks at me and slightly smiles, before turning the smile into a frown. She seems conflicted somehow, whether because she wonders why I'm here, why I just showed affection to her, or whether it was something to do with what Warrick was saying earlier. I don't know, but she truly seems stuck between 2 thoughts at the moment.

She shakes herself out of whatever the thought was, and just looks at me, studying me as if she never had noticed me before. I look back into her eyes, and I see fear, confusion, and a hint of something I can't quite catch in there too. She holds my gaze for a minute before another tear runs down her face. She tried to wipe it away, hoping that I wouldn't notice, but it was too late. I take her hand from her face and smile at her, I know that words are needed around about now, but I just don't know how to say what I need to.

I let go of her hand before standing up and walking to the window. The sky is grey and we look as though we're going to have a huge storm, possibly a bit like the one going on in my head at the moment. After staring out of the window for a moment, I take another deep breath and turn back around, to see Sara silently crying whilst looking at me. I sit back down and take her hand, not wanting to let it go this time.

" Sara I,.. I don't know what to say…." I pause, before continuing… "Well I have an idea of what I need to say, but it doesn't seem enough. Whatever I say will just seem so feeble after how I've acted over the last couple of weeks. I've been selfish and stupid, and if I were you I don't know how I'd forgive me for acting the way I have."

I can feel the tears rolling freely down my cheeks now. Sara still hasn't said anything, but she tightens her grip on my hand, making me look back up and catch her eyes. I know if I don't carry on talking, I may lose the little confidence I have.

"Sara, I…. You probably think I'm making excuses or something, but I was here, I've been here every day. I just haven't had the courage to come in. When you were missing out there, I have never felt more scared or helpless in my entire life, and I hated the feeling. Knowing that there were so many things I needed to say to you, to tell you.

I mean, I know I've never made a great effort to be friends with you, but that's not because I don't want to be friends, on the contrary, but I'm just scared Sara. And then, when you went missing, I thought I'd never have a chance to tell you that I do care, I care more than you'd ever know. And then Nick found you, and something inside me took over. I locked myself away, not even talking to the guys or Grissom, and I came here every day once they'd left, but I couldn't bring myself to come in. And then Nick told me I was a bitch for not caring about you, and he truly believed I didn't care. Which made me realise that that's how it looked. And that will be how you saw it too.

But Sara I do care. I do. Please, believe me. I'm so, so sorry for how I've treated you. I should have just buried my insecurities and feelings and come to see you, I mean you nearly died. That's what scared me the most. And then the feeling I felt when you were alive was just so strong…"

I ramble on, not even knowing if I'm making sense anymore, and I can't seem to stop myself from crying. I can feel my whole body shaking, and all I can say now is

"I'm so sorry Sara, I'm sorry, please, forgive me. I'm sorry." Over and over as if it was my mantra.

After about five minutes, I've managed to control my sobs somewhat, and I look up, and she is crying too. She is still holding onto my hand, and I'm sure I saw a faint smile.

"Cath." She says, her voice hoarse from a mixture of the drugs she's been taking and the crying I've made her do.

I go to apologise again, but she stills me and says.

"Please, let me finish." I nod for her to continue, and hope to God that I'll like what she says.

"Cath, I don't know what to think right now. I have to admit, it hurt when you didn't come to see me, it really did. I guess Nick was right, I did think that you didn't care. But then I don't know, I guess in some ways it helped me not seeing you. I can't explain that to you right now, but I guess deep down I'd hoped you'd have come to see me when the guys did. I mean you didn't even send a card Catherine. If it wasn't for the guys I'd have thought you'd have dropped off the earth."

I'm crying freely again now, I just can't stop the floodgates today. "I'm so sorry Sara."

"Please, let me finish" She goes on, "I promised myself, that, if I got out of that car and the desert alive, I'd tell you all of the things that kept me going. And I intend to stick to that promise. But, at the moment I just can't, because of repercussions, which I guess is why I'm so confused at seeing you today. I'd put it to the back of my mind, but now it's back to the forefront, and I realise I have to go through with the promise to myself, which scares the hell out of me for so many different reasons."

I'm seriously confused. Sara is making absolutely no sense.

"I know you don't get it now Catherine, and I'm sorry, but you will. And I forgive you Catherine. I do, if you'd never have come to see me, I'd still forgive you. There's something inside me that makes me want to forgive you no matter what. So don't worry, I believe you, and I do forgive you."

I smile, and cry harder. I'm so relieved that she forgives me. I know I wouldn't forgive me if I were her. I'm so relieved that I get up and kiss her boldly on the cheek. She touches her cheek, before smiling at me.

"Cath, I'd like us to start again. To get to know each other properly, forget our past, the arguments and everything. It's one of the things I promised myself out there. To get closer to you, to spend time with you. Of course, I thought that'd never happen when you didn't come to visit me, but now, I'd like us to try and be friends. If you want to that is."

I don't think I've ever smiled as wide as I did then. I'd like to know everything Sara wants to tell me, that she promised herself to, and I'm totally confused as to why she'd be thinking of me out there and not her beloved Grissom. As much as I don't want to put a dampener on things, I don't know how I'm going to spend time with her knowing that he's got her. I think I officially hate my previous best friend for getting to spend the night with her. To touch her, to have all of her. I feel sick…

"Cath?" I hear her say, sad and questioningly.

I must have zoned out, and she thinks I don't want to spend time with her. Which is totally untrue. I wish I could spend every second of every day with her for the rest of my life…

I smile, and reply "Of course I'd like that Sara. There's nothing that I would want more." Well… almost I tell myself.

She smiles and says. " I almost feel better now."

I wonder why she means almost. It seems she figured a few things out in the desert, and needs to right some wrongs or something like that. I guess I'm one of those. I admire her. I mean I'm totally and utterly in love with the woman, she couldn't get anymore perfect. Too bad she'll never want me to share her bed at night.

I look at the time and realise I should head home and get some sleep before I have to be back at work, I say goodbye to her, give her another kiss on the cheek, before heading towards the door. Just as I reach the door, I hear her call over.

"Stay." I turn around totally confused. She smiles and shifts over. "It's a big bed for a hospital. I just don't want to be alone right now, please Cath, I don't want you to leave, and I don't think I can cope not knowing when I'll see you again." She is almost pleading with me.

I think my head I playing games with me, because if I didn't know better, and didn't know that Sara was with Grissom, I'd say she felt something for me. Why would she want me to stay and not her lover? I don't want to think about that now, and I'm not one to disappoint, so I walk back over to her.

I slowly get into her bed, trying to avoid her injuries, and she leans into me before falling quickly asleep. As I drift off myself, I can't help but think how right this feels.

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**Please pretty please review :D no flames though please. Thanks guys :D **


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: same as ever, i don't own anything.

To everyone who reviewed, thank you so much, I really appreciate them! And because you reviewed, I've got another chapter! To be honest I've shocked myself by writing 2 chapters in 2 days! Also, I just wondered what you think of me using both Catherine and Sara's POV's. I find it easier to put across what both of them are feeling, but is is confusing?

Again, thanks for the reviews everyone :) And, another quick thanks to Chelsee6 who kind of advised me to keep on writing, which I guess is why i've done this chapter so quickly.

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**Chapter 5:**

Sara's POV:

I wake up later after the best sleep I think I've had in years, which, considering I'm in a hospital injured is quite astounding really. I can't actually begin to explain how happy I am that Catherine came to see me. I mean I did think she just didn't care, and, considering my mid-desert revelation about my feelings towards her, that kinda sucked slightly.

But she did come. And she told me she'd been almost every day, but couldn't come in. I still don't really get why, but I suppose she didn't understand my ramblings about having to tell her lots of things that I couldn't yet or whatever I said. So come to think of it, she's probably more confused than I am.

But we did have a good chat, amongst many tears, and we decided to try and build a friendship, which we both said we'd wanted for many years, but just didn't think the other did.

I wonder if she'll actually still want to try and be friends once she finds out how I really feel about her?... But, I don't know, earlier, during certain parts of our conversation I could have sworn that she said a couple of things that made me wonder how she felt about me, she did kiss me on the cheek, and hold onto my hand, and there was something hidden deep in her eyes that I couldn't quite decipher. I guess there'll be time to try and figure it out. I just can't tell you how happy I am that we can try again, start afresh.

Catherine is still asleep in my bed next to me, how she managed to fall asleep I'll never know, she looks quite uncomfortable, except for the hand draped across my stomach, it seems though she's trying to keep as far away from me as possible. If it wasn't for the said arm draping across me I'd say she didn't want to be here, but I guess she just doesn't want to aggravate any of my injuries. I decide that I don't want to wake her up yet, but she looks a bit awkward, so I carefully move her head so it's rested in my chest, she mumbles something and snuggles into me. It feels wonderful, and I decide that I might try and catch a few more Z's before facing the reality of my life.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It's in that position that I get woken up some time later to the calling of my name "SaraSara? SARA!" When I finally open my eyes, I see a rather bemused looking Nick standing there giving me an extremely confused look.

Catherine has also woken up at the sound of Nick almost shouting my name. She takes a moment to come around, before just looking at Nick and not saying anything.

I guess she's still upset with him for calling her a cold-hearted bitch. I don't know what drives me to it, but I take her hand underneath the blanket and squeeze it, letting her know everything's ok. She smiles at me, before I turn my attention to Nick. I decide to leave it to him to approach the subject of Catherine being in my bed.

"Hey Nick, sorry, I don't think I've slept that long for a long time. I should have heard you come in." I see Catherine smile out of the corner of my eyes, maybe at my admission at having the best sleep whilst being with her.

Nick still looks a bit shocked, "Catherine?" he asks in an ultra confused and questioning tone.

I don't think Catherine is in the mood to speak to Nick, so I answer for her

"Catherine just came to see how I am Nick, we sorted out a few things, and then she was shattered so I offered her half of my bed."

That sounded totally lame, but I don't really want to tell him I needed her in my bed as comfort, instead of my lover.

He obviously didn't want to start an argument or anything whilst I'm in hospital, I presume he'll speak to Catherine at work tonight, I hope he doesn't upset her, she seems quite fragile at the moment.

He finally answers, quite coldly, "oh ok, I didn't think you two were ever that close," he nods at the bed.

I feel Catherine tensing up; she squeezes my hand before getting up.

"I'm going to go Sara, leave you and Nick to chat a bit." She smiles, before continuing "Plus I think I need a shower and get changed before going back to work. Never know what people will think if I go back in the same clothes as yesterday" she laughs, and she actually made me laugh with that comment too, I think that's the first time I've laughed since this whole ordeal began.

She smiles, and says "I'll give you a call later if I can't pop back in?"

I look at her as if I don't quite believe her, I do, I just don't want her to leave, but that's stupid, I know she has to work and get changed and stop the gang from talking about her having done whatever. I just hope she does come back. Today, even though most of it I was asleep, was perfect.

She obviously catches my thoughts, and smiles again, " I promise." She says before coming back over, squeezing my hand and walking towards the door.

"See you later Sara." And with an afterthought adds, "Nick"

. . . . . . ..

There is silence in the room once Catherine has left, and I don't know what to say to Nick. He obviously wants to know what was going on. I know he was upset with Catherine for not visiting me sooner, and I guess he wonders how she can come in once and share my bed for the day, and the rest of the guys have been coming since the day I was rescues and brought in here, and they are stuck with the chairs, even, or, maybe especially Grissom, who I've been trying to keep as far away as possible. I know I'm being a bit mean to him, but I just feel horrible when I'm near him at the moment, and shudder when he goes to touch or kiss me. I know that's really awful of me, but I can't help it. And I know it's going to be even worse now that I've actually seen Catherine, who, without knowing it, helped to save my life.

Eventually, Nick starts talking.

"So what was that there? Catherine says 1 word and she's in your bed. Didn't know she was that quick."

I gasp in shock at what he just said. I know he's just angry with her, and doesn't really mean it, but that was beyond harsh. I have to tell myself he's only looking out for me to stop myself from shouting abuse at him.

I count to three, before replying. "Nick, that was low. I know you're not happy with Catherine at the moment, but we had a good chat, and yes, she did apologise, and explained a few things to me. And we've decided to try and be friends."

He contemplates saying something for a minute before changing his mind.

"Nick, I know you're only trying to look out for me, but please, go easy on Cath tonight, please? For me?"

He sighs and says, "OK, and I really am glad she finally came to see you, it took her enough time. But just be careful ok? I've got to get to work." He gives me a small smile before coming over and kissing my forehead before saying bye and leaving.

What the hell did he just mean, be careful? Does he mean about Cath generally? Does he know how I feel? Does he know something I don't? Or maybe, I guess if someone had walked into the room, I guess we'd have looked like lovers, I guess he could mean that, maybe something about Grissom? Oh I don't know. I'll have to ask him later.

I ring the call bell, hoping to get a shower, and finally get around to asking about when I can get out of this place. All the time I can't help but wonder what Nick meant, and I keep wondering how long it'll be until I hear from Cath again. One thing I do know, I can't wait to see her again, I just feel the need to touch her, hold her like today.

I'm screwed, totally and utterly, 100 screwed.

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So there we have it. 2 updates in 2 days! A first for me. **Please please review :) you never know, you might get 3 in 3 **(although I think I'd be totally and utterly surprising myself then too ;) but you never know, I hope to update asap :)


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you so much for the reviews guys, you are awesome, and I'm sorry I haven't managed to reply to each of you individually. It's been chaos around here the past few days... And will be again for the next few. So I'm sorry I didn't manage 3 in 3 days, but hey, I think 3 in a week isn't bad? For me anyway! Anyway, I'm still getting into the story, but I need to get all these little parts done to build it up. It was quite a quick chapter so I'm sorry if it sucks!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, same as other chapters, see other chapters. Don't sue me, I'm poor...

Anyway, here's chapter 6, let me know what you think:

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**Chapter 6:**

Catherine's POV:

After leaving Sara's room, I don't know whether to skip, scream in relief or what to do. I have a huge grin on my face as I go to walk out of the ward. A nurse smiles at me on the way past and says:

"you finally went in then?"

I look at her confused, how does she know I've not been to see Sara before, and I've been here every day? Nosy woman, I think to myself.

"I see you here, every morning, when all of her other friends have gone. You stand outside for about an hour looking troubled, and then shake your head and leave. Until today- you looked much more determined this morning. I guess Miss Sidle is really happy that you've been to see her too." She pauses, "I bet you are Catherine aren't you?"

How does she know who I am? Hmm.

"Yes, I am Catherine, but, how..?"

"Sara can talk a lot you know."

I look at her totally confused now, Sara talk a lot, about feelings? Until this morning I'd think she was 100 mad saying Sara could even talk about feelings, but to a stranger? I think she's 80 there.

I tell her as much.

"Sara spoke to you, about me not visiting her? If you didn't know who I was then I'd say I totally didn't believe you. But obviously you do, and Sara is full of surprises." I say, smiling at thinking what other surprises Sara could be full of.

Before I go off into a daydream, Nurse Nosy decides to carry on talking.

"I must be one to charm people into talking." She laughs. Hmph. "It's just that, a few days ago, Miss Sidle looked rather down and confused when I went in to change her bandages, and I asked her what was the matter. She mumbled incoherently for a minute, before looking up, and asking me if I thought that everything happened for a reason. I guess that's what she was thinking about. She went on to tell me many a thing I don't think it's my place to tell. I guess she needed someone to talk to who wasn't involved in her life in any way. That's when she mentioned you, and how you hadn't been to visit her, and how that had confused her thoughts on the issue she was asking me about. She was really quite confused about her feelings. Things that she thought were set in stone just weeks ago no longer are. I think her ordeal put a few things into perspective for her, made her realise things that she's buried deep away somewhere… Anyway, I've probably said way too much already, it's up to her to speak to you I guess. At least she'll be happier that you've seen her."

The nurse smiles at me, and I go to leave. Just before leaving, I turn and say "Hey, thanks, you know, for telling me, well, whatever message you were just trying to tell me,…"I go to say her name and realise nurse nosy won't cut it, and I may infact have learned something interesting, so I won't be so mean.

"Sorry I don't know your name" I smile more warmly at her.

"Karen. Karen Peters" she smiles at me, "and don't worry Catherine, I'm not some random person who spills all secrets, and I hope everything works out." She winks at me before being called away by another nurse.

Now that was cryptic. Confusing. I'm confused… I'm still ecstatic about the fact that Sara forgives me for being such a bitch, and the fact that she wanted me to spend the 'night' with her, and for her obviously wanting to be more than just my colleague. Maybe not as much as I want, but we'll start somewhere.

I hum a song to myself as I drive home and shower ready for work.

Most of shift passes quite quietly, and with a couple of hours to go I see Nick looking at me from outside my office. He looks confused, and just shakes his head before going to knock, deciding against it and walking away. He is obviously still pissed off with me, and well so am I with him. I don't think I've ever not spoken to Nicky for so long as long, as I've known him, but I just can't shake this anger.

I carry on doing some paperwork for another hour, and then decide I could give Sara a call, she's probably awake now anyway. I sit for a minute debating with myself whether or not it's too much to ring her after only leaving her a few hours ago. But I did promise, so I gave the ward a call, and Nurse Nosy, sorry, Nurse Peters, answered. (I'm sure she lives in that place).

"Oh hi, I was just wondering if Sara is awake?" I add "It's Catherine, I'd like a word if she is, if that's ok?" Why do I feel like I have to prove myself to this woman?

After her going off and checking, about ten minutes later, I get a hoarse voice down the phone:

"Cath?" she sounds somewhat shocked.

I put on my sweet and calm voice, "Hey sweetheart, did I wake you up?" I wasn't going for that much, and I can't believe I let an endearment slip. Idiot Catherine.

Sara doesn't say anything though, and I'm sure I can hear the smile on her as she replies:

"As much as you'd be worth waking up for Cath, I was already awake, just watching the news. There is some crap going on, and why do I want to know what's going on in Big Brother, I mean come on, headline news I don't think."

I giggle at her, and shake my head at the fact that I giggled. But I'm sure that was somewhat flirty from her. I put it to the back of my mind to pick up later, before carrying on the conversation.

"I told you I'd ring, if I'm honest I wanted to ring you as soon as I got home, but I thought I'd be taking it too far. I went from sitting outside your room to not being able to stop from ringing in 24 hours. So I refrained myself, until now."

I hear her laugh throatily, "Cath, you can ring me any time, night or day, even if you've just stepped out of my room, and I wouldn't complain."

There is silence for a couple of seconds before she says: "are you able to come and see me today? I kind of miss you already." That makes my heart go all fuzzy hearing that; I smile widely to myself and want to do another happy dance.

"Of course I'll come see you. I'll catch a lift with Warrick when he comes?"

She hesitates for a moment, before answering, "yeh, that'd be great, 'Rick is coming just after Grissom, Nick and Greg leave. I think that's what they said anyway. But, maybe you could drive too, and maybe stay a little longer? Unless of course you need to get home to Lindsey. Wait.. Of course you will, I'm being selfish.." she starts babbling, so I cut her off

"Sara, Linds will be at school until 3.45, so I can stay until about 2, that's if you really want to put up with me all day? I have tonight off, so I won't need as much sleep. I'll grab an hour after shift before I come. Is that ok?"

"That's fantastic Cath, I can't wait to see you. Anyway, apparently I've been on the phone too long and the nurse wants it back. See you later."

"Bye honey" I reply, and curse at myself for slipping out an endearment.

I lean back in my chair, thinking that that went extremely well, and I'm sure that there were a couple of moments that Sara was actually flirting with me. Or maybe I'm just going mad. I'm sure I'm not, and I close my eyes for a moment, wondering whether Sara meant to sound like that, whether it was just her medication or what the hell it was.

I also wondered what Nurse Peters was trying to tell me this morning. I store it all away to recall when it'll be useful, and sign off my last piece of paperwork.

I head out to tell Grissom that I'm going to head home half an hour early. I cannot wait to see Sara again. And I really feel huge surges of jealousy whenever I see him. What on earth does she see in him? What does he have that I don't? Well… except for the obvious... I laugh at myself as I make my way home for a shower, feeling happier than I have done in a while, despite having developed a new hatred for one of my best friends.

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**Please review. **I like to know what you think. Unless it's super bad, then I'd rather not know, as it may make me cry ;) But do you still like it? It'll get more tense soon.**.. Anyway, please leave me a review, they inspire me to write more, faster (hint hint ;) ) **


	7. author's note

Author's Note:

I'm really sorry guys, but I've been so busy the past week that I haven't even been able to think about writing :( And I'm going away tomorrow for two weeks, so it'll be at least that until I'll be able to update again.

To everybody who reviewed the last chapter: thank you so much, I know I may not have managed to reply personally, but your reviews mean so much to me :) so thank you, and as soon as I get back I'll be trying to update both of my stories as soon as possible.

Thanks again, and sorry.

J x


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